Tailored clothes are the language of respectability in menswear, at least historically. Coat and tie was required for many white collar jobs in the past, and people were expected to wear a suit to all kinds of social gatherings like weddings, funerals, church services or concerts. Much of that has eroded, and perhaps that’s for the better in some ways. But two experiences I recently had gave me opportunity to reflect on the enduring role of a sincere suit.
The speaking engagement
I was recently asked by my pastor to go speak to a small congregation a couple hours west of me in western Tennessee. It’s one of the three churches he is pastor of, and it’s even farther from where he lives than me. I’d never been there before, so he tried to prepare me by describing the size of the congregation, and what types of people I’d meet there. He explained the background of that particular local church and where the people who attend there come from, both geographically as well as organizationally.
I speak in my local church from time to time, where I know the people and they know me. When I do, I dress the same as I do if I weren’t speaking—always in coat and tie, but typically not a suit; instead, I usually wear a sportcoat and tailored trousers, which if you’ve been reading my site for any length of time you know is my preferred mode of dressing. Our church’s culture is traditional, and coat and tie is the norm, though not enforced nor required (although for those who speak, I think there might be a dress code).
But for this assignment, given the unknowns, and given what I was asked to do, there was really only one choice of what to wear: a suit.
Why?
Primarily, I felt it communicated respect in two ways.
First, that I took this assignment seriously. As a church member, I have no particular rank nor ordination status—I’m just a regular member. So to be asked to give a full-length sermon is a big responsibility, and I wanted to communicate that I was here to do my best (besides, you know, doing my best through preparation of my message in advance). A “sincere suit” as Put This On once dubbed it, still carries the day in communicating you take the circumstances you’re in seriously. Even if the way you style it colors outside the traditional boxes. For instance, in the recent Amber Heard/Johnny Depp trial, despite wearing colorful shirts and ties, you’ll notice Depp still has a dark suit on. It communicates serious mindedness about the situation.
Secondly, it showed that I respect the people I’m speaking to. Like I mentioned, I didn’t know any of these people. Coat and tie in general would’ve still been formal enough, but since they would be unfamiliar with my particular style, I didn’t want my clothes to be a distraction from my overall message. If I return there and they see me more regularly, perhaps they’ll start to see that I have a particular sense of style, and come to expect a little more sartorial expressiveness. But for this first instance, I wanted to play it straight.
Secondarily, I also appreciate what tailoring can do for a younger person. I don’t consider myself “young” per se (I just turned 35), but in relation to the people of this particular church, I’m decades younger than most of them. From their perspective, I’m sure it was nice to see a young man turned out well. From my perspective, it gave me a bit of a confidence boost—that “suit of armor” feeling you get in a suit.
How I expressed my style while coloring inside the lines
While I colored inside the lines by wearing the suit, I still found a way to use some creative colors, figuratively speaking.
For one, my navy suit is a blue pindot wool. It isn’t shiny or showy, but it isn’t a dark navy twill or anything either. It’s still navy, but it has some depth to its color and wonderful texture you will notice when you get up close. It’s also cut in a Florentine-meets-Neapolitan style, with a soft shoulder with pleats, and that wonderfully expressive 3-roll-2 curving lapel inspired by Liverano.
I wore a light blue shadow stripe shirt (one of my all-time favorite shirts), instead of plain blue or plain white, with a dotted navy grenadine tie. Introducing two patterns automatically adds visual variety, and I liked that the grenadine weave of the tie had tactile texture, too.
Because I’d dressed the suit down a bit with the striped shirt and dotted tie, I chose dark brown leather cap toe shoes, instead of black.
All together, the navy suit communicated respectability for my age, for the assignment, and for the people, while my choice of shirt, tie and shoes subtly showcased my style.
Memorial service
Just a week prior to that speaking engagement, I wore the same suit, but for an entirely different situation: a memorial service. My grandpa had died, so we traveled out of state for his memorial service. I took the same suit, but this time dressed it almost entirely straight down the line: white shirt, dark navy grenadine tie. I still wore the brown shoes, but only because they’re more comfortable to wear for extended periods than my black shoes.
For a memorial/funeral, I think the more sober you can get, the better. Cultures all over the world and throughout history have specific mourning rituals, many involving wearing the color black. Here in the States, we don’t have much of any ritual, and even the basic act of dressing up has been reduced to almost nothing. One family member who spoke wore jeans with an untucked dark blue button-up shirt, with a silver tie, like it was a beach wedding.
It’s never bad to show more respect for an occasion than others, including in how you dress for it. For a memorial service where you’re honoring the memory of the deceased, put on your best, dude (and you really should make that a sincere suit).
Where the suit goes from here
Given its decreasing presence in workplaces, social engagements and even formerly formal events like funerals, I think the suit is best be positioned to survive in the form of fun, much more casual iterations for people like me who dress in it because we like it. Think cotton khaki suits, lightweight linen-blend suits or funky plaid tweed suits, all of which can be broken up if you’d prefer.
That’s my lifestyle and preference every day of the week.
But there is still a need for the sincere suit outside of simply recreationally dressing like you want to. It still communicates respect, it still gives you a little extra credibility, and it still helps you feel a little more confidence in a new circumstance.
Shop Sincere Navy Suits
Spier & Mackay VBC 4-ply navy suit
Spier & Mackay VBC Fresco navy suit
Suitsupply navy blue birdseye suit
Suitsupply navy traveller wool navy suit
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My condolences on the loss of your Grandfather Mitchell.
I agree that the suit has become uncommon outside of formal events now. That’s a shame in some ways since it means a lot of nice suits will be languishing in closets.
I did wear a suit to work today but with a long sleeved polo shirt. That seems to be the key point to wearing a suit outside of formal events – how to make it more casual and relaxed.
Thank you Peter.
Polo under a casual suit is a cool summery thing to do. I just got a cotton khaki suit that, once it’s done being altered, I think a white long sleeve polo will be an awesome way to wear it. Maybe even with white sneakers (gasp!); though tbh I’d probably still wear suede loafers.
Where did you get the cotton suit? I am on the lookout and it seems like a suit like that should be easy to find amongst the usual suspects (Drakes, Armoury, NMWA…. ) but I am having a hard time finding one. I might grab the olive cotton piece NM just dropped to see how it fits.
Great think piece! One comment, in the interests of starting a conversation: I like the church ensemble — except for the pocket square, which I would have lost for this event, especially given the additional context you’ve provided. To me, a suit says you respect your audience and you’re dressing well for them. The addition of the pocket square says you’re dressing for yourself. It’s purely an affectation. Of course, you could say everything is, including the tie. But I’d argue that if you wore an unusual tie (like a grenadine — to say nothing of a grenadine with polka dots, which really takes it to the next level of sophistication), folks would look at you and think you’re especially well-dressed, but they wouldn’t be able to pinpoint anything specific about your outfit that gave that impression. With a pocket square, however, people will immediately see it and identify it — and single it out as the reason why you’re too stylish, vain, or spend too much time dressing. Given the situation, where you’re standing behind a podium/rostrum, the pocket square stands out even more. And given the setting, the pocket square really seems out of place. It reads as either too fussy or way too “boardroom-y.” If I were at a wedding, I’d add the pocket square, since that setting and event calls for a bit more individuality and flair. I’m curious why you didn’t actually even mention the pocket square in your rundown of the outfit? To me, that’s the one item that radically changes the significance of the suit in a church setting.
Thanks for the comment Nelson.
I know the pocket square has gone through a major revitalization in the last 15-20 years, being re-introduced by the menswear crowd then going mainstream to the point that many in the menswear crowd have sworn them off again. But it’s still very popular in the mainstream. Being a simple white linen “TV fold” is the least peacock-y pocket square one could pick.
So I think I agree with your overall premise on pocket squares in general, but don’t feel the white linen takes it over the top. Still communicates I care, but I wouldn’t say it goes into the fussy realm.
Thanks for the comment.
First, condolences on your loss.
Second, this is a great piece, and I concur wholeheartedly. There are “fun suits” (who coined that? Mark Cho? Derek Guy?) that I hope get more play in the future, then there are serious suits. I find myself reaching for a navy suit more and more for serious occasions, customer meetings, interviews, and weddings (unless dress code is explicitly “casual”) and yes, funerals.
On the topic of your square of choice, I agree with you that the white TV fold is/was appropriate for your occasion, had it been a multi-colored puff, that’s a different story… (maybe on your next visit)
Thank you Hayes. I don’t recall who coined the term ‘fun suit;’ I think I’ve seen both those guys use it. I got a tan linen/silk blend suit, which is in that category, too, in my mind; I foresee wearing the jacket alone 9 times out of 10, but perhaps I’ll get comfortable rocking the full suit. We’ll see.
I wonder to what degree American cultural norms fit in to this conversation. In my Southern urban environment, maybe 10-20% of our affluent congregation wears a sport coat (or more) every Sunday. Easter is the obvious exception, when everything breaks out in pastels and seersucker. Up north, things are generally even more casual, though your mileage may vary.
Condolences for your grandfather. I’m sure he was quite proud of you.